What I’ve Learned about Simpkins Hall

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I am very fond of Simpkins Hall. It’s full of quirks and personality, and now that I don’t spend much time there, I miss it like crazy. In the past year, it has been fairly empty as most classes are now online, but I can feel it slowly opening back up. Doors are open, classrooms are noisy, and the Reading Room is seeing some action, thanks to Sigma Tau Delta. Simkins Hall is a pretty great place.

I’ve been sleuthing around the English building for about three years now, ever since I picked up my English minor as a freshman. Back in the good ol’ days, I was in Simpkins almost every day, be it for classes or meetings or just to study. Over the years I’ve come to realize a few things about our beloved Simpkins Hall. These are some of the best lessons I’ve learned about the home of English, most of them from personal experience.

  1. The first floor is not the first floor. There is no explanation for this.
  2. There are some very comfortable chairs in the wings of the main stairway. Don’t go there if you want to get work done, you will just fall asleep and miss your next class.
  3. The stall doors in the bathrooms were made for literal ten year olds, and you never get used to it. If you’re taller than about 5’10”, you may want to politely avert your eyes whenever you walk in.
  4. There is no public printer in the literal English building. The nearest printer is in Corbin-Olson or perhaps Memorial Hall. This is an issue when you get kicked out of Dr. Banash’s magic circle and have to run around campus trying to print the article you totally finished last night.
  5. Simpkins Theater is not the same as COFAC Recital Hall. There is a black box theatre on the third floor, and it’s actually pretty cool. Our Theatre Department hosts a lot of shows there, and they’re free for students.
  6. There is a cute little reading spot just outside of the front entrance. You have to walk around some bushes and a tree, but when the season is right, it is perfect for avoiding people.
  7. If you follow the posted directories, you will get lost. Just ask someone where the office is and hope that they know how to find it.
  8. There is a super convenient Gender Neutral restroom on the first floor (or second if you are normal). It’s hidden at the end of the hallway, right near the vending machines, but it’s there for anyone who wants it.
  9. We have a deceptively cozy Reading Room. If you nap in the Reading Room, people may stare but ultimately will leave you alone. However, you’re also right down the hall from the theatre rehearsal room, so you’ll hear the occasional random thud and loud singing.
  10. It’s haunted. No question. Stick around on the third floor after dark and you’ll understand.

I hope that the students are there every day will take a moment to enjoy the halls and discover something new on their own.

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